Too Tired To Think
It’s happened to all of us at one time or another – you know, when you are too tired to think, but you still have to function, so you can’t take a nap. That’s sustainable for a day or two – maybe even a week or so. But, if you continue down that path of not getting enough sleep while trying to maintain your former schedule – that brain starts to work so slowly, it’s like trying to work with ten open tabs on a 10-year-old computer that’s never been updated.
Extra, extra slow.
Time To Power-Down & Reboot
I’ll be honest with you – I hit that whole “Time to update your computer” message in my brain months ago. It seems that every time I get used to one schedule, it changes. Things are so hectic that the chair doesn’t even get warm before I have to attend to something else. I’m currently exhausted. But I know one thing, and that is that if I don’t get a chance to reboot soon – I may end up taking a forced quit.
I hate that circling blob on the computer. But just like it, I spent a long time loading this week. Just spinning and spinning trying to make my brain work through the exhaustion. As luck would have it – there was a pile of paperwork I needed to go through and peeking out from mid-pile was a clear plastic folder filled with various sizes of salmon colored index cards. I knew what they were. I had put them there. My mother had been writing bible verses on index cards and posting them on the wall, calendar or placing them in ziplock med bags with the writing on the outside so that she could memorize or remember scriptures that were important to her. I decided to go through them.
Peace in Chaos
Initially the project was to take one of her cards a day and write a reflection for the blog. But today all I could think of was that I needed an idea. I came across 4 fully blank (except for a reference) and one half blank card. They had been written over twenty some-odd years spanning from the 1980s to the 2000s. I could tell by her handwriting where they belongs on the time continuum. I looked up the blank references and my creative juices started flowing. Then my daughter came in and sat down at the table next to me and my pile. She didn’t feel well, she needed pain medicine and something to eat with it. I scurried about to grab something for her to eat and a glass of water. She pulled the pain meds closer and I continued sorting my mother’s cards.
This Is The Way
Then she knocked over the glass of water soaking the table, her meds, my computer and a bunch of the cards. I dropped the pile I was reading upside down, grabbed paper towels and we began trying to soak up the water. I shook off cards, wiped them down, dried the computer and set about hitting the spots she hadn’t gotten to yet while she apologized profusely. I wasn’t mad. I wasn’t even really upset. I had been interrupted so many times it almost felt like it was bound to happen. I thought, Now wouldn’t this be the perfect opportunity to throw me off of what God wants me to do? Not today Satan! Once dry I pick up the upside down pile and found the verse I’d been looking for staring up at me. Had I given up just then – I would have missed it.
Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right ot to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying This is the way. Walk in it.
This was my direction. This was my verse. Like a sleepy child being lead by the hand, God had shown me the path to choose and the energy to follow it.