You Are Too!

You Are Too!

Sometimes the simplest truths are the ones that we overlook.

“You are too!” My husband exclaimed as we sat out back in the cool of the morning before the heat made it too hot to drink our coffee.

As a parent of young adults and college-age kids, the whole dynamic of our relationship has changed. As it should.

When the kids were toddlers and had their “I do!” stage, it was easy to see that they were recognizing their personhood, so they wanted to do things for themselves. We gave them toddler-size choices back then, while still being able to protect them.

In between, they honed their self-determination skills for a few years until they hit their middle & high school years. Then the next stage of “I do!” was revamped to sound more like, “I‘m not a baby! I can do it by myself. It’s not like when you were a kid!” Then, more solidifying, honing of skills, and separating.

The final stage of “I do!” hits in the college and young adult years. But unlike toddlers or even teens, you can’t protect them the same way you did when they were younger.

You want the absolute best for them – you’re rooting for their success. You’ve tried your best to make the most of what you had, to give them a good head start. And, you would still move heaven and earth for them. If they called, you’d drop everything to be there in an emergency. But, this stage of “I do!” is the one where they make their final break into adulthood. The problems, consequences, and decisions are bigger. But they have to make their break from you to do it on their own. And, while they are in the process of separating, you have to respect the process, and let them decide when they are ok with asking for your help, or advice again.

That’s the hard part.

You can see them struggling, and you want to help, but you have to wait until they ask.

“I would do anything for them!” “They don’t have to struggle alone!” “I love him/her.”  “They can always come home!” “I can’t do everything, but I will do everything I can!” “Why don’t they just ask?!” “He’s my son” “She’s my daughter!”

That’s when he said it, “You are too!”

It stopped me in my tracks.

“You’re a daughter, too.”

I gasped.

He went on. “Imagine … if you love your kids that much… with your whole chest… how much God loves you. You’re His daughter, too.”

Perhaps that’s the way God designed it. Maybe he made it so that we could be parents to give us a glimpse of how He feels. He sees our struggles. He sees our stubbornness and our desire to do it all on our own. He knows we don’t have to do it alone, but He doesn’t force himself on us. He simply stays accessible. All we need to do is call on Him – He always answers our calls.

My phone rang at 5 am the other day, and my husband and I jumped out of bed to answer the call in case it was one of our kids. It didn’t matter that it was a wrong number; we were prepared to go at the sound of the first ring.

That’s God. He’s waiting for us to call on Him. He’s right there, ready to help, ready to heal, ready to fill us to overflowing with His love and peace. We just need to call. If we, as imperfect, earthly parents, are always ready to be there at a moment’s notice, how much more is God willing and able to do for us – HIS children?

Don’t forget, “You are too!”

⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Matthew 9: 9-11