Where Do I Fit?
In my last post, I talked about how my mother’s mantra “A place for everything and everything in its place” molded me into the person I am today. But what about when you don’t know where you fit. You physically. Sitting at the kitchen table this morning, I was having a conversation with my husband about not fitting in. It was really in the context of reaching a wider audience with my message. How can I reach people like me when I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere?
The Corporate Package Vs. The Real
Years ago, someone told me, in essence, that I’m smart, but I don’t “look the part.” Noone would value what I had to say; I wouldn’t get in the door if people dismissed me before I opened my mouth. It was their contention that if I wanted to be heard – I needed to “look the part” to be heard. Basically, I had a lot to offer, but it took a while for people to get to know me – all the good stuff was on the inside. I alternately railed against that idea and attempted to “be the package.” But that is a corporate mentality.
True To you
It struck me this morning that I don’t want to live in the traditional corporate world. I want to be who I have always been – me. I like to wear comfortable clothes and shoes. I often cut my own hair. I get my nails done for special occasions and don’t keep them long because they interfere with my lifestyle. I seldom wear makeup except for my obsession with not having chapped lips – though I’m not sure lip gloss, vaseline, and chapstick count as makeup. I’m just me.
Getting My Priorities Straight
I’m 45 years old, and I’m still just a jeans and T-shirt girl. If I see someone doing something great – I tell them. When I see someone doing well for themselves – I congratulate them. I’ve never felt the need to step on someone else to get ahead. That dog-eat-dog thinking is corporate – I am not. The benefit of this fourth industrial revolution, fueled in part by Covid, is that people have realized that corporate life is not real life. In fact, it inhibits enjoying real life. A few years ago, I would have been stressed out right now because I would be missing work to stay home with sick kids. Today, I’m chillin’ because I can work from home.
Don’t Believe The Hype
I’ve told my children their entire lives that what makes people beautiful is what’s on the inside. If you are good and kind to people – make them feel good – they will remember you as beautiful. You can look attractive on the outside, but you if you are mean or unkind, you will be remembered as ugly. Corporate life is that nasty attractive person. Real-life may wear sweatpants but will bring you tea and toast when you’re sick, has the time to help color in your project with you, or braid your hair for school.
“People don’t care about how you look on the internet, Heather. People connect with people like them. They want to see people in their kitchens, with baseball hats on looking like them. Look at that guy who just shrugs or that guy who says ‘Gorgeous!’ Look – you’re already smiling thinking about him. It’s all about that positive message” my husband continued. I finally realized that I no longer have to struggle with feeling bad about not wanting to fit the corporate image because I don’t want to live in the corporate world.
So Where Do I Fit?
So where do I fit in? I fit in with me.
And, anyone who relates to something in my life can enjoy parts of who I am too. I don’t have to squeeze into some corportate mold. I’ve created my own to thrive in.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
1 Peter 3:3-4 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.