My mother used to say – Just come by! You don’t have to call. Then I don’t have to worry about dusting! She meant it. She loved surprise visits from people. I confessed to my husband the other day that one of the hardest things about losing my mom was the loss of our conversations. We didn’t usually sit for hours and talk. But, we did talk while we folded, washed, dusted, tidied, cleaned, sorted, walked, or drove. The conversation was a constant, lovely distraction from mindless work. I was feeling a bit sad because I was missing my daughter away at school and thinking about the loss of our chats. It’s so hard to let go.
Embracing The Moment
The surprise element of an unannounced visitor allowed Mom to embrace the moment fully. She would fully enjoy the company regardless of what she was doing. When I would stop by with the kids, Mom would stop whatever she was doing, put on the kettle and toast and sit with me at the table. She always had snacks for the kids available and often some secret stash of something sweet for us. I often look back now and wish I had sat a while longer for tea when she would pop in on me, while the kids were small. So often, however, I didn’t allow myself the opportunity to soak in every second – I’d rush to cross off the next thing on my “To-Do List” while the kids were distracted with their Nana. And now, I miss her surprise visits more than anything.
History NOT Repeated
So when my daughter called saying she needed to come back home for a short visit to pick up her glasses, I thought about that. Rather than focusing on what I needed to finish – I focused on enjoying the moment with her. We went for a short girls’ lunch out after picking up her glasses. We picked a spot her friend had suggested, and the three of us sat outside and enjoyed a delicious meal with wonderful conversation. In embracing the moment of her surprise visit, I was able to get some perspective on her newfound absence in my home. While I won’t be able to see or talk to her every day, I can relish every one of these surprise moments.